Warm Brown Eyes
by jada jasmine
Summary: When he came home from the doctor’s, face a blank slate, she pretended to ignore him. She refused to acknowledge that something as dark as cancer had managed to worm its way into their perfect life. ChadSharpay. Oneshot. Sensitive topic. Angst.


A/N. Sigh. I really wish more people would write ChadSharpay. That way I would actually get some homework done instead of slaving away over oneshots. Who am I kidding, I love writing these damn things. Enjoy!

**Warm Brown Eyes**

She locked herself in her room, unable to look at anyone, especially them.

She remembered when she had first gotten pregnant, and Chad would tease her about the terrible mother she would be.

Something else that he was right about.

A gentle knock on the door made her entire body stiffen.

"Mommy? When's Daddy coming home?"

If anything could break Sharpay, it was those five words coming from her five year old son, Desmond.

His name might as well have been Chad.

Gabriella came running up the stairs, taking Desmond away from the door, choking back tears of her own, and closing the door.

Sharpay sighed with relief as they left, putting off looking at her son's face that looked so much like Chad.

When had this happened to her? She had never been one to fall apart in the face of tragedy, she was the one to pull through and emerge even stronger than before.

But that was before….this.

This was something she wasn't expecting, didn't want to expect.

When he came home from the doctor's, face a blank slate, she pretended to ignore him.

She refused to acknowledge that something as dark as cancer had managed to worm its way into their perfect life.

Two to three months.

They had put an expiration date on her Chad.

And she hated them for it.

The worst was the argument about treatment.

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"Chad! What the hell do you mean you don't want treatment? What the FUCK are you saying?"

"Listen, Shar, the doctor said that the chemo would only prolong the inevitable, maybe giving me a few extra months. But that's it."

"A few extra months is it? Ava is three, Desmond is five, and Jada is eight. You don't want to stick around a FEW EXTRA MONTHS to watch them grow up? What the HELL ARE YOU THINKING?"

"I would be in the hospital, Shar. I would look like a skeleton. I wouldn't be healthy. They shouldn't have to see me like that. I don't want them to see me look like that."

"Fine. You feel that way? Get the hell outta this house. And take your fucking cancer with you."

He recoiled, as if a red-hot poker had just branded him, hurt apparent in those brown eyes she loved so much.

Then he turned around, grabbed his keys and coat, and slammed the door behind him on his way out.

She collapsed to the floor, her tiny body wracked with sobs and waves of shock.

When sweet little Ava had walked over to her, Sharpay could barely look at her.

"Why is Mommy cry?"

That was the first night Gabriella started taking care of the Danforth kids.

Sharpay rubbed her eyes, feeling the mascara rub off onto her clenched fists. Wiping her nose with a Kleenex, she walked over to the bathroom.

When he had come home the next morning, they were both a mess.

She was hysterical, apologizing, saying she shouldn't have been so insensitive.

He wasn't much better, holding her tightly to him, saying of course he should have the treatment, she was right.

He began treatment four days later, but first they had to talk to the kids about it.

* * *

Grasping his hand as if it could fix all her problems, she called her three kids, who actually were too young even for that, into the kitchen.

Chad looked at her with sad eyes, tear filled eyes, and she felt like her world was crashing down around her.

As their three beautiful children clambered upstairs from the basement, Jada carrying Ava and Desmond bringing up the rear, Sharpay's breath caught in her throat.

They all looked like him. The hair, the eyes, the cheeky smile. Desmond even had a plush basketball in his hand, bouncing it just as she had imagined Chad did at some point.

Her thoughts were interrupted by an impatient Jada, already growing up so fast.

"Helllo? Earth to Mom? What's going on? We're staging a play downstairs and we have to hurry before Desmond forgets his lines!"

Her eyes met with Chad's, and he took a deep breath.

"Guys, I'm really sick. And I have to go to the hospital for a little bit."

Two of the children too naïve to realize what was happening, but Jada immediately became suspicious.

"What kind of sickness Daddy?"

"I have cancer, princess."

The only one old enough to recognize the danger of the situation, she immediately started crying. Embarassed, she clumsily wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her top.

"Okay Daddy. I'm just going to go up to my room for a minute…but I'll be right back down."

She ran away, unable to look at either one of them.

Michael looked at his dad, clueless, and innocently suggested his own cure.

"Daddy, you can just get a shot and have some soup like I did when I was sick. Then you'll be better."

He eagerly jumped up, gave his dad a hug, and returned downstairs to play with his ball and hoop.

The baby of the bunch didn't understand anything, except that her big sister had been crying, and they hadn't expected her too.

Chad picked her up and placed her in her playpen, where she immediately became preoccupied with a doll lying on the floor.

He looked at her, and then proceeded to breakdown.

And this time, Sharpay had to hold him.

Sharpay could hear the shrieks of pleasure coming up from downstairs, reveling in all the fun that Aunt Gabby was. She could even hear Jada's voice among them, for the first time in days.

Aunt Gabby, Uncle Troy, and Uncle Ryan were the only thing that the kids looked forward too.

A dad who was gone and a mom who might as well have been.

She sighed, embarrassed at the sudden realization that she was really being a shit mom.

But then she glanced at her nightstand, eyes instantly locked on a picture of her and Chad before the kids, when they were newlyweds.

She felt the familiar sting at the back of her eyes, but still she stared at the picture.

Young, handsome, athletic Chad.

That's how she wanted to remember him. So even though the tears came, still she stared at the picture, imprinting it in her mind forever.

* * *

It had been a month since chemotherapy had started, and the results were bleak. The cancer was rapidly spreading still, and the chemo wasn't really helping.

Chad was a shadow of the person he used to be.

Once muscular, he was now frail.

His eyes, while still the same chocolate brown she loved, were jaded and had lost some of their sparkle.

And the hair.

His pride and glory, the beautiful brown curls that had once graced his head were gone.

She painfully noted that he constantly was rubbing his head, as if by pure willpower he could grow it back.

He was right about the kids seeing him like this. It destroyed them.

Ava didn't even recognize him the first time. She had walked into the room, glanced around, and then had curiously asked, "Where's Daddy, Mommy?"

It broke Chad's heart and she knew it.

But he swallowed his tears, and called out for his peanut.

Desmond had recognized him, but shrunk away at first, a little bit scared. He told his dad all about how Uncle Troy was helping him with his game, since Chad couldn't. But he was still a scared five year old boy, and he didn't cry until after he left the room, not wanting his dad to see.

Jada was the worst. Gripped by the knowledge that time with her dad was running short, she would talk to him about anything and everything. There was a cute boy in her class that had kissed her on the cheek during recess. She had gotten the lead in her class' play. She read her first Harry Potter book. And every time she left, she would kiss her dad, tell him she loved him, and in a timid voice, ask him to please not die until she could see him again, hoping against hope that the words held any merit.

When it was just them, they would talk too. She would tell him about everything he had missed during the day. Then they would just cry. Her head on his hand, his other hand on top of her blond hair, memorizing the feel, whispering frantic I love you's.

She stared blankly at her calendar.

Monday.

He had died one week ago, on Monday.

The thought curled her into the fetal position, a pathetic shell of a human.

She refused to believe it when she had gone in that morning, with all three kids in tow, and a Starbuck's cup in hand.

Of course, she had heard the doctor's sympathetic voice, understood the actual phrase, but she couldn't let herself believe it.

By the time she had gotten to Chad's room, he was laid peacefully on the bed, and his eyes were closed.

Ava had pulled herself onto the bed, and poked her dad, playfully yelling at him to wake up.

Desmond had realized something was wrong, but wasn't quite sure.

Jada's knees collapsed beneath her, the perfect picture of her mother a few months ago, the child's body shaking uncontrollably.

Sharpay dropped her Starbucks and screamed, feeling the hot tears run down her face.

She had been preparing herself, or so she thought. But now, looking at him, she realized that you could never actually be prepared for it.

A few minutes later Troy, Gabriella, Ryan, and even Taylor had appeared at her side. Tears in all of their eyes, they quickly took in the chaotic scene.

Gabriella swiftly removed Ava from her dad's side, resulting in Ava's loud toddler cries. Troy gently lifted Desmond off the ground, and let him sit in his lap.

Sharpay and Jada huddled together, and everyone cried.

Another knock on the door caused Sharpay to stiffen, but she relaxed when she say that it was only Gabriella.

She stared blankly at her, make-up a mess, still in her pajamas.

Gabriella stared back, appalled at the state her friend was in.

"Sharpay, honey, you gotta get out of this room."

Sharpay simply turned her back to Gabriella, closing her eyes and wishing she would just go away.

"Two of your kids are constantly asking for their father, Jada smiled for the first time all week just a few minutes ago, and you can't even manage to LOOK AT THEM!"

For the first time in a while, Gabriella yelled at Sharpay.

No response.

"You aren't the only one hurting here, Shar! Now you better get your ass downstairs before your children start to think they've lost both of their parents."

Sharpay shuddered as Gabriella slammed the door on her way out.

She knew that Gabriella was right, she'd been thinking the same thing for a week.

She gently placed the picture of her and Chad back on the nightstand, pulled her hair back, washed her face, and tentatively opened the door to the hallway.

And she could've sworn that she felt the tickle of his curls, his breath on her face, and the feeling of those warm brown eyes on her.

**A/N. So I know that was really depressing, and very cliché and cheesy at the end, but I have to believe that things like that happen otherwise I'm going to go crazy! Please ****please**** review, and check out some of my other stories. This is dedicated to my best friend, whose dad just passed away from cancer two weeks ago.**


End file.
